Chapter One.

It was a fierce battle, but i finally gave in.
I closed my eyes and fell asleep during lesson.
The next thing i know when i woke up, with
my eyes squinting, only seeing the silhouette
of the person. it was huge and round like a 
pumpkin.i leaned up and rubbed my eyes. It was 
my friend, Hafiz, he woke me up because it was
the end of class. i was feeling a little bit pissed 
off that he woke me up, but at least its the end 
school, and that is enough reason not to be pissed
after he woke me up.

I knew him way back during my freshman years in
Secondary School. He was one of the guys who 
actually talked to me when all the other straight
guys were avoiding me. He was being really friendly 
to me. It felt like i was finally accepted by somebody
other than the girls in the school. he made me feel 
like I actually belong here.

"Its the end of class, hurry up, let's go" he said. I 
rubbed my eyes and i realized that we were suppose 
to meet one of my cousin. She is really close to me.
We were close since the beginning of time. Lily is 
her name. We were really close and we share our 
deepest thoughts with each other. We do have 
some fights between us, but we would always
apologize to each other and just made up. She 
understands me and doesn't mind that i'm different
in some ways.

Feeling groggy after the nap that i took in class, I
restlessly, grabbed everything on my table and 
lazily throwing them in my bag. I stood up and walked
out of class.

When i'm walking across the hallway of my school, most of 
the guys who know me would just take a few 
steps away from me. While those who don't 
know me just stared at me with a wicked look on the
face. Its like i'm repelling them away from me.
It made me feel like a the Shrek in the beginning of the
movie.

As i reached to the gates of my school, Lily was 
already there. "Oh my god, i miss you so much" i 
yelled as hugged her tightly. She only nodded her head
with no positive expression on her face or greeting from
her. She turned to Hafiz. "The usual place? " she asked.
He nodded his head with a gloomy expression and started
walking without saying a word. 

I'm kind of wondering on whats wrong with the both of them.
They would usually the loud people and be really cheery 
all the time. Judging from their reaction, there must be 
something wrong. I didn't want to asked why and trying 
not to intrude into their problems. They are really scary 
people they are not in the mood. 

Then my phone rang in the tune of Lana Del Rey - 
Born To Die. I took a look at it and it was a text from
Khairin. He is this guy that i am dating. He has a tan skin.
skin with cute big dark hazel eyes and luscious lips.
His dark and short wavy hair matches the complexion 
on his face. 

He give me the gut twisting sensation just by being close 
to me. Each time i tried to say a word to him, my words 
could not exit my mouth even though the sentence were already 
structured in my brain. My skin practically get hot and i will 
get the heart pounding feeling when he touches me.

I smiled to myself. Then only to realize that i look like an idiot 
smiling alone by just looking at a text on the phone.
" Hai, Wanna meet up today ? I'll come over? ". I looked 
up and I see Lily and Hafiz walking in front of me, thinking if i 
should cancel my plans for Khairin. But they seem not to 
be in the mood of anything, and i'm afraid that I might even ruin
their mood even more.

Then i thought to myself, fuck it. Khairin is worth it.
I chased after the two of them, and told them " I don't think i can
follow you guys today something came up. " Hoping they don't get 
angry at me for not being able to go out with them at our usual place.

"What's the problem? " Lily asked me in a stern manner.
Hafiz looked at me in a disappointing manner. I took a 
step back and gave them a cheesy smile " My mother 
told me I need to be home today, there's something 
important that i need to do. ". Hoping that they would 
buy te excuse that i made up on my feet.
Hafiz sigh " Fine. Go ahead, I'll see you tomorrow ". 
Lily followed up with a sigh and shook her head.

I hailed for a cab and got in. " Pasir ris, Coasta Sand
Street Blk 8, please. " i told the cab driver. He looked 
at me through the rear view mirror and nodded. Without
saying a word, he drove off. I looked outside the window 
looking at the passing trees and my mind started to drift
away on what today might brings later on. 

I paid the cab driver and dropped off the cab. The flat
that i stay in is grey and dull. i walked up the stairs to 
the 2nd floor, my house by the side of the flight of stairs. 
I stood by the doors of my house. Its a narrow pathway.
There's not much space for a pathway but I guess that it 
will manage. 

I hear foot steps coming up the stairs, i didn't bother much
about it because it might be my neighbor who lived opposite me, 
so i leaned on my door and typed on the phone " Where 
are you? " to Khairin since he isn't here. Instantly i heard 
his dulcet tone embraces the air like the evening perfume 
of night flowers. " I'm here. ". I looked up and my cheeks 
turn rosy. I turned around and unlocked the door. " Finally you're 
here. took you long enough. " as i unlocked the door and hold the
door open for Khairin. He gave me a sweet smile and pinch my 
cheeks, " Thank you, sir ". 

Its a three room apartment. I live with one of my childhood friend,
Ashley, we knew each other when we we're fighting over a toy 
during play time in Kindergarten. Our teacher separated us after
the fight and our parents got called down. After school, i apologized 
to her in front of her parents and we started being friends from there
on, even our parents got close because of that incident. 

Ashley is a Secondary School student the same as me, she has to stay
with me as her parents are over sea for a few years for business and
they don't trust her to live alone. Her parents will come over once in 
every blue moon. My parents are also oversea most of the time 
as my parents have business oversea just like Ashley's. Most of the time 
its only me and her in the house.

The sky colored living room filled with a large L-shaped flammeous sofa 
a black flat screen television opposite it and a low wooden table in between.
and a few cushions around it for people to sit on. Ashley would always sit
on the floor instead of the sofa, therefore we bought a low table for her to 
study and cushions for her to sit on. 

Kharin threw himself on the sofa and took the remote, he clicked the remote
and the television would turned on. " Hey, look its family guy " he said cheekily. 
Its our favorite show, he would usually come over and overnight with me watching
family guy from season one all the way to the recent episode. Apparently this is
one of the episodes that we have already watched. I settled myself beside him with 
my legs up on the table and text message Lily on how sorry I am for leaving them. 

All of a sudden, Khairin took my phone from in between my hands and put it on the 
table. " Dude, i'm in the middle of text messaging. " i scolded him. He rolls his eyes " You 
are always on your phone. Talk to me at least. " I nodded my head and focus my 
attention on the television. He stood up and took my hand. He pulls me up and into 
his arms so i can feel the length of his body against mine, this swift action taking me
by surprise. He runs his fingers around the nape of my neck and grab the back of my head, 
gripping my hair in between his fingers. He gently pulls my hair so i'm forced to looked up 
at him. He gazes down at me seductively, biting his luscious lips. Just looking at him biting 
his lips gave me the gut twisting feeling inside, my blood rushing through my veins, feeling
the hot sensation from his touch.

" I was thinking that we could do something hot today. " he whispers with a grin. His words
are some kind of incendiary device, setting my blood in flames. He leans down and kisses my
lips gently. His soft lips touching mine. I didn't want to believe it, I thought it was just a dream
until he bite my lips with his teeth. i moan softly, and he smiles. He push me down on to the
sofa. Leaning down, he kisses me. His lips are demanding, firm and slow, molding mine. " Wow "
he breathes. " First time we actually gotten so serious. " i flushed. Damn . . . This is our first 
time kissing this obsessively, but I want him badly. From my deepest desire to do this with him.

His kiss is demanding, his tongue and lips coaxing mine. I moan softly, and my tongue tentatively 
meets his, tasting his mouth. One of his hands down my spine and the other reaching down 
in between my legs. He opened my legs and pushes his pelvis in between my legs, I could feel
his erection rubbing against mine. He put his forehead against mine. i stared into his eyes. 
Is this the time where i will lose it? It doesn't matter, all i want is him in me. 

He Continuously kissed my lips. Then the sound of the door being unlocked echoed through 
the house, I could hear it so clearly. Ashley, its always around the afternoon that she would
be home. Khairin stopped and turned to the door. He quickly get off me and throw himself 
beside me. The door opened and it was just who i suspected it was, Ashley. " Who's in the
house with you? " she raised her voiced questioning me as she picked up Khairin's shoe 
up high showing it to me. I didn't say anything. My mind still lingering on the scene that
just happened before Ashley came in. I turned to Khairin and he watches the television
like as if nothing happened. She came to the living room with Khairin's shoe and looked
at me then to Khairin. She looked at me then to Khairin. " Oh, its you. " she said in
discomfort. We put down the shoe back to where it was and went inside a room 
without saying a word to me.

That is when i thought that something must be wrong. She does not usually keep quiet 
and walk into her room without hugging me. " She ruined our fun. " he said in disappointment.
I looked at him and I knew that what we did is not just some fantasy that I imagined. 
It was real. " I should talk to her. She doesn't seem like herself today. " I got up and walked 
to Ashley's room. I knocked softly on the door. The door swung open and she pulled me in
with great force that i nearly fell. " Why did you cancel your plans with your bestfriends
just for that... Boy. " she scolded me with the disappointment look on her face.
" I just wanted to spend some time with him. " i shrug. 
   " Does that mean you get to ditch your friend just like that? " 

I looked down, feeling guilty. Ashley sigh, " You know i don't like him being here, he is
ruining you. he asked you to ditch your friends just for him. Don't you remember what
he did last time? " . Her words hit me hard on the head like frying pan to the face. I 
remember the time when i was with Khairin, he is being all nice to me and when he found
someone new, he would just leave me hanging. He come back to me each time he gets bored
or if nobody entertains him. " Yea. i remember. " She walked back and forth with her hands
on her waist. She always do this when she is stress. " I think he changed for the better now. "
i said softly. Ashley glared at me and threw her hands in the air, " Fine. Do whatever you
like, but I wont be there for you if he leaves you hanging again. "

I leave her room and she closed the door. Khairin looked at me, waiting for me to tell him
what happened in the room. i shook my head and sat beside him. He put his arms around me
and pull me closer to him. " Its alright if you don't want to tell me. " he gave me a cute smile.
i smiled back at him. 

We watched Family Guy on the Television through out the whole day. Ashley is still in her room
and she didn't leave the room once. " Its getting late, i should better get going. " he looks
at the clock. I stood up while he is still lazing on the couch. He pulls me and i fell on him. He
hug me tightly. Our head side by side. " Please do not tell Ashley what happened before she came 
in the house " he whispered to me. I nodded my head and pushes me up. I gave him a hand and 
pulled him up. I opened the door and he puts on his shoe. " I'll come over again tomorrow? " he
smiles. 
 " Sure, anything just update me on what time you'll be coming . " with one hand holding the door
open and the other leaning against the wall. He grab my crotch and squeeze it. i moan softly as my 
mouth opens. He lets go of his hand and gave me a wink. I did not expect that coming from him. 
He walks away and down the stairs. i closed the door and lean against it.